Forgot to post

I just realized that I forgot to post last week after I weighed.  I weighed in on Wednesday of last week and I had lost another 3 lbs.  That makes a total of 14 lbs. since surgery and a grand total of 79 lbs. altogether.  Today is exactly 3 weeks out from surgery.  I am feeling great.  I am doing really good eating and I feel more and more normal everyday.  I worked today.  I worked from home but nevertheless I did work.  I put in 9 hours.  I seemed to do pretty good with it.  I am going to work from home again tomorrow and try to go into the office on Wednesday and Thursday.  Then on Friday I will work from home again.  I didn't want to push myself into a full schedule and wear myself out.  I am probably going to weigh again this Wednesday since I will be back at work.  I am a little concerned about what I am going to take to work with me to eat.  I am having trouble in the mornings also.  I wake up and for most of my life I have not been a breakfast eater.  Well now, I have medicine, vitamins and protein that I have to try to get in.  My stomach doesn't want all that so I am really getting to where I don't want the protein shake at all.  I think another thing is because it takes me so long to drink 6 oz. that by the time I get done with it I just can't hardly stand to drink anymore of it.  My nutritionist has suggested that I order some "unflavored" protein powder that I can mix in with soups or anything that I am eating that has a sauce.  She said that is a great way to get the protein in.  I had to order it online but I hope it gets to me pretty quickly!  I read a lot of reviews about it and they were all good.  I have 6 more lbs. to go before I am officially in the 200's.  I am hoping to see that very soon!  I am getting a little frustrated about not having any clothes that fit me.  I have gotten a lot of clothes that I will be in hopefully in the next couple of months but for now I don't really have anything that fits.  Everything is either to big or to small.  I have to keep telling myself that this is only temporary.  I am so ready to get back into the gym and toning up my body.  People keep asking me if I feel a lot better and even though I do feel a lot better, every time I look in the mirror I still see a fat girl.  I wonder if that will ever change? 

2 weeks out

It is hard to believe that yesterday was 2 weeks since my surgery.  The past several days I have felt amazing.  Like I haven't even had surgery.  Eating is getter better by the day.  I still have no desire to eat but make myself eat several times a day.  My incisions are almost healed up.  They are itching which from my experience is a sign of healing.  I decided to go to Catherines today to try on some clothes just to see exactly how many sizes I have actually gone down.  I was able to get into a size 26 capri pant and a size 3x skirt.  My original size (before I started losing weight) was a size 34 pant (and that was beginning to get tight) and a 5x skirt/shirt.  I was pleased to see that I could get into a size 26.  That means that I can just about start looking at places like Wal-mart and Kohls for clothes.  Much cheaper than Catherines.  I am going to go by my office tomorrow so that I can weigh in.  Last week I was down 11 lbs. since surgery so I can't wait to see what this week holds.  I will let you all know!

Lesson learned

I've been doing so well that yesterday I decided to try something new....a piece of pizza.  I had been craving some pizza for a while so we ordered one for lunch.  We got a thin crust pizza with ham on it.  I ate 2 very very small pieces first (when I say very very small, I am talking a piece about the size of a 1/2 dollar).  I ate them very slowly and I did fine with it.  Then later on in the day, I was going to get ready to go out and grabbed another small slice and ate it as I was going down the hall to get ready.  I put absolutely no thought into eating it slowly or taking small bites and after I swallowed the last bite I began to hurt.  I could feel the food stuck in my esophagus.  This hurt so bad and made me so nauseated.  This went on for about 30 mins.  Then it finally passed through to my stomach.  I honestly thought I was dying.  I couldn't breathe good, I felt pressure in my chest, and I just knew I was going to throw up.  This is all the things I had read about and heard about would happen if I tried to eat to fast or didn't chew my food good.  I felt so stupid for doing this to myself.  The rest of the night I was nauseated and had a pain in my stomach.  I can definitely tell you that I will not try that again.  I am feeling much better today but am back to feeling scared to eat anything.  I never want to go through that again.  I am sure that won't be the last time I ever do anything like that but I pray that I don't.  I definitely learned a lesson from it.  All the things they taught me before surgery is very important to incorporate into my daily life where food is concerned.  My life is forever changed due to this surgery and I just have to get my head around that.  I guess because I feel so good and normal again that I forget how my life has changed.  To bad I had to learn the hard way! 

11 lbs.

I weighed yesterday and I am down 11 lbs. since my surgery.  That is pretty good considering it has only been 9 days since my surgery.  Today has probably been the best day I have had so far.  I got all my protein in, I feel fully energetic, and I was able to eat a regular meal with no pains or fullness feeling.  I went to K&W for lunch and was able to eat 1/4 of a 5 oz. chopped steak and about 8 green beans.  It was so good!  I have found the trick to eating and feeling satisfied.  I portion off what I know I can eat and box the rest up.  That way when I finish my food, my mind is satisfied.  I say my mind because my stomach is still not hungry but my mind tells me that I want more than I can have. If there is no more on my plate for me to eat then my mind can't play tricks on me!  It really works!  Even though I didn't make it into the 200's yet, I am only 8 lbs. away and I know I will hit it very soon!

Yay for soft foods

I got to start soft foods today.....and that makes me so happy!  This morning my husband cooked some breakfast and I had 1 scrambled egg with cheese and 1/4 strip of bacon.  It was so good to me....especially the bacon.  I made sure to chew the bacon extra to make sure it would go down ok.  Then this afternoon I went to Wendy's and got some chili (I've been looking forward to this)!  I brought it home and pureed a small amount.  I ended up getting about 3 good tbsp. in before I got full.  It was so good too.  I guess at this point most anything is gonna be good to me.  So far my stomach has tolerated everything I have put in it.  It is so good to be able to get some protein in without it being in a liquid form.  This is very encouraging to me.  Tomorrow morning I am going to weigh myself and I can hardly wait.  I don't even have scales at my house.  I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  But I am so ready to see how much I weigh.  I'll check in tomorrow!

1 week post op

I am officially 1 week post op today.  Tomorrow I get to start introducing soft foods and I am so looking forward to that.  I have been on straight liquids (with the exception of a few cheats here and there) since June 5.  I am ready to put something in my mouth besides vitamins, pills, water, and protein shake.  I have been eating a little applesauce which tasted really good to me!  I am feeling really good.  I noticed today that I do feel run down due to lack of energy but that is to be expected.  Other than that I feel really good.  So much better than I ever expected to feel.  I am grateful to God for that.  I am going to go by my office on Wednesday morning to see my coworkers and to officially weigh in.  That will be 1 day shy of being exactly 2 weeks since I last weighed in.  I am very anxious to see what I'm down to now.  I hope to see the 200's this time!  My last weigh in was at 319 so that would mean that I would have to have lost at least 20 lbs. in the last 2 weeks in order to see the 200's.  I don't know if I have done that or not but I can hope.  If not, I won't be disappointed!  There are a couple things going on with my body since I have had my surgery.  My teeth feel funny.  I know that sounds crazy but they do.  I only notice it when I am taking my vitamins.  The vitamins taste so bad to me that I tried just letting them lay in my mouth until they disolve rather than chewing them.  I know that sounds crazy but they really do taste that bad.  When I just let them disolve, the taste isn't so bad.  I don't know if that has anything to do with my teeth or not but it's a change that I have noticed.  I am starting to see more hair loss also.  I expected this.  It isn't in huge amounts but it is enough that I can tell.  I am trying really hard to push my proteins in everyday and this seems to be the most difficult part of my journey so far.  I feel full all the time.  I mean full like when you eat a meal and you eat way to much and you are so full that you can barely move.  That is how full I feel 24/7.  I don't know if it is from where I am still bloated or if this is just how I am supposed to feel.  That makes it difficult to get anything in.  When you are that full you have no desire to eat.  Again all of these things are normal.  I went to take my Ambien last night and took a big ole gulp of water.  I am only supposed to be sipping.  That didn't go over so well.  I totally forgot to not drink a big gulp.  Just proves the power your brain has over you!  Anyway, I will update later this week with my current weight.  Keep praying for me!

Surgery - successful!

Today is 4 days since surgery and I am doing very good.  The first 2 days was pretty rough but each day I get better and better.  Still have a lot of gas pains built up but that is getting better each day as well.  I started back on liquids today.  While in the hospital I had nothing but ice chips and small sips of water.  Today I had a little bit of protein shake and some chicken broth along with my water.  It takes nothing at all (about a medicine cup full) to fill me up.  I am not hungry at all either.  The first couple of days if I saw food on the T.V. it made me feel nauseated but I am passed that now.  I have no appetite whatsoever and have to make myself drink my protein.  I don't feel nauseated when I do eat which I am thankful for because I had heard that some people got sick just trying to drink some protein shake.  The soreness is getting better also.  If I had to rate myself on how well I was doing (1 being really bad and 10 being really good) I would give myself an 8 - 9.  I am going to try to get out of the house tomorrow and we will see how that goes.  My son graduates on Saturday morning and I am very hopeful that I will be able to sit through that with no problems.  My hospital stay was really good.  All of the nursing staff, physicians, lab techs, etc. were all super nice and showed real care for me!  I am so thankful that I was able to do this and I'm looking forward to the results!

"S" Day

Today is surgery day.  I am at home preparing to go to the hospital and and really truly ready!  I am excited about this new journey I am about to embark on.  I will let you all know how I'm doing as soon as I can but for now know that my spirits are high, I feel God's presence with me, and I am ready to do this!  Love you all!

Pre-Op & Anesthesia appts.

I went for my pre-op appt. today as well as the anesthesia appt.  It went well.  I did find out that I have a heart murmur but no big deal.  I weighed in today which could be my final weigh in before my surgery.  I have lost another 5 lbs. which brings my total to 65 lbs. in 16 weeks.  I am super proud of that 5 lbs. considering how I ate this past weekend.  And because it is my birthday on Sunday and I will be on straight liquids that day, I am going to Deweys Bakery tomorrow to get a cupcake or something to celebrate my birthday.  I will be the big "40" and I'm not depressed about it at all.  I am ready to turn 40 and I am ready to have my surgery.  I will get the call tomorrow telling me what time to be at the hospital on Monday.  I hope this weekend goes by really fast!  I will try to update my blog just as soon as I can after surgery.  Pray for me!