2 lbs. short

Ok....this was supposed to be a really big week (and I guess I have to admit that it has been).  Today is weigh in day.  I only needed to lose 6 lbs. to hit my 100 lb. weight loss mark.  I lost 4 lbs. this week.  I know that is incredible and it makes me really happy but I was hoping to see a 6 lb. weight loss.  So next week, I am hoping and praying that I hit that 100 lbs.  To date I have lost a total of 98 lbs. and 33 lbs. of that has been lost since my surgery on June 6.  I still haven't seen a huge energy burst however I can honestly say that this week I have felt "normal" again.  It may not last long but I am going to savor the moment.  I had made a goal to get back in the gym this week but that didn't work out.  So I am making myself a promise that next week I go to the gym at least 3 times.  I would ask that you all pray about that with me.  I know if I can get back in the gym that I will really see the weight drop off.  I just need the energy to get there.  I have noticed that I can now stand and prepare an entire meal for my family and not get so tired that I don't even want to eat.  My back doesn't hurt and neither do my knees so cooking is now super enjoyable.  I say super because it is always enjoyable but now its super enjoyable.  Cross your fingers that next week I get to post some new pics!

What a week

This week has been a rough one.  I officially worked 40 hours this week (working the last 8 today).  It has been tough.  The first two days were ok but after that I became exhausted and I feel like I just can't get caught up (on my rest).  I weighed in on Wednesday and lost another 3 lbs.  That brings my total to 94 lbs so far.  That 100 lb. goal is so close I can almost touch it.  I am hoping that next week I can start back in the gym a couple of days a week.  The doctor told me not to push it so I am going to start off real slow.  People everyday are more and more amazed at how much weight I have lost but when I look in the mirror, I still see a fat girl.  I wonder if that will ever change?  Anyway, I am ready for this work day to be over so I can take this weekend to rest and relax.  Don't forget.....when I hit that 100 lb. mark, I will post new pics!

What I realized today

When I got home from work, I started cooking supper.  While I was doing that I realized that I did not think about food the entire day today.  I ate but only because I knew I had to but I did not "think" about eating AT ALL.  Then I got to thinking, I haven't thought about food since my surgery.  When I say that I mean that I don't sit around and think about eating, when I'm gonna get to eat again, what I'm gonna eat, or think about eating junk (like Dewey's cake).  This is very strange to me but when I realized it today, it was one of the best feelings ever.  This is what my day consisted of food wise today:  1 protein shake, 2 peanut butter crackers (nabs), 1/3 of a lean cuisine french bread pizza, 1/2 of a piece of grilled tenderloin, 1 tablespoon of pintos & white beans mixed, and 2 sugar free popsicles.  After eating that.....I have no desire whatsoever to eat.  I really do praise God for allowing me to go through this journey and being so successful!

My first post-op visit with the doctor

I went for my first visit to see the doctor since my surgery last Thursday.  It went very well.  He said that I did amazing with the surgery (better than most) and he attributed that to how well I did before my surgery.  He did say that I was still a little dehydrated and that I needed to push the fluids but other than that I was doing great!  I also met with the psychiatrist and the nutritionist.  The psychiatrist told me that my original estimated weight loss was 70% of my body weight and that because I did so well before surgery I may even exceed that.  The nutritionist told me that I was doing great and to try to get a little more protein in.  She suggested adding another protein shake each day.  I am still working on that.  I felt really good when I left the office knowing that I had did my best before surgery and that I was moving right along since surgery.  This is getting easier and easier each day and I am so thankful that I was able to do this.  Only 9 more lbs. and I will have hit my first goal of 100 lbs.  I can't wait to see that!  The doctor did tell me to give myself at least another week before I go to the gym since I have started back full-time to work.  He said he didn't want me overdoing it and that he considered me still in the "fresh out of surgery" stage.  He also told me that most people get a surge of energy around week 6 which is where I am at today.  I am looking forward to that as well!  I weigh in Wednesday so I will let you know how that turns out then!  Until then.....have a blessed day!

Sorry for the delay since the last post

I can't believe that I have let 2 weeks go by with no post....I am sorry for that!  I have been so extremely busy in the past couple of weeks that I haven't even thought about posting to my blog.  So let me catch you up to speed.  I weighed in this morning and I am down to 293.  Yes....I'm in the 200's again!  That makes a total of 91 lbs. that I have lost since my journey began and a total of 26 lbs. since my surgery (5 weeks ago).  Last week was my biggest weigh in since my surgery with a loss of 6 lbs. in 1 week.  That got me super excited because I was a little discouraged up to then.  Each week before that I had lost 2 or 3 lbs. a week which is really great and I should be super excited about that but for some reason I felt let down.  Trust me....this surgery has really played tricks with my mind.  On July 4th I had a pretty bad day.  I just had an emotional breakdown.  I was crying hysterically, very weak feeling, and just having major regrets for having the surgery at all.  This only lasted a few hours but it was still very bad.  So when I weighed in on Wednesday (2 days after this episode), and I saw a 6 lb. weight loss it completely removed any bad thoughts that I had been having.  As far as how I have been doing physically, I find it still hard to get enough protein in each day.  If I don't get enough protein in, of course I feel weak and loss of energy.  Some days everything I eat doesn't agree with me and somedays everything I eat is wonderful.  It is truly a rollercoaster ride and one which requires LOTS of patience.  That is something that I have very little of.  I would ask that you all help me pray for my patience in this.  The hardest thing about all of this is the mental part.  Even though your body does not desire food at all, your mind still does.  When you sit down to a meal with your family and you see all the yummy stuff that they are eating and you can't, it really does affect you mentally.  It is very difficult to deal with.  The experts (those who have been through this surgery already) have told me that it gets easier and easier as time goes by.  I am looking forward to that.  I started back to work full-time this week.  This has been a challenge too.  My goal was to also start back to the gym everyday, but that hasn't happened yet.  I do have a very good reason for it though.  We had hardwood floors put in our home yesterday and up until then my gym stuff was buried under the contents of 3 closets.  I am slowly starting to get my house back together.  If I complete that task tonight then I will get my gym things together and head back tomorrow.  I know that once I start going back to the gym I will definitely see an increase in my weightloss.  Plus with 91 lbs. weightloss, you can imagine that I have got to start doing some toning.  Anyway, I have established very small goals which makes them very acheivable.  My goal right now is to get in the gym the last 2 days of this week.  My other goal is to see a 100 lb. weightloss.  That is only 9 lbs. away so I am hoping to see that in the next couple of weeks.  I go for my first post op visit tomorrow with my surgeon and I have a list of questions for him.  I think that has pretty much caught you all up to speed.  I promise not to wait so long until my next post.  Pictures to come soon.  I hope you all noticed the 2 I have already posted.  The first one was right before I started losing any weight.  The second was right before surgery and I had a 65 lb. weightloss there.  As soon as I hit that 100 lb. mark, I will have more pics for you!  Will you all also help me pray for a dear friends daughter who is about to embark on this journey through the lapband!  Love to you all!